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  This is for you , if you think I dissapointed.
  Truth is , all I wanted is to let you be. Enjoy the things you never had , because of certain obstacles , you know , I never actually wanted to be one.
  I'm just leaving parts of myself here and there, hoping , one day , when you'll think of me, you'll have a good vibe. I've always wanted to make people enjoy the time they spent around.
  But this isn't the case , and the feeling , the feeling somehow was wrongly interpreted. That's the thing about us , humans.
  We interpret, expect, and forget the good things. We focus on awkward moments and let the good times dissapear. This is not a thing you need to focus too much on. Just some thoughts on a virtual paper that I will virtually burn, because the things, that I write right now,  are my thoughts in a certain moment in time, time that doesen't actually exist.
  And you say I'm a jedi , and I play mind-games. Oh , so naive. I don't let people offend me,got me right here.
  I don't let people get to me.
  Not anymore.
  I don't accept such kind of offers, because the kid over here,  the kid dissapeared. Oh so troubled.      Unfortunately, no expectations are here to be found. And expectations, or plans, or anything regarding that - it scares me.
  Maybe one day you'll understand, that, all I really wanted, is for you to be happy.

Forward [monologue]

Have you ever had a dream ?

What do  you want to be when you grow up ?

Or , who do you want to be ?


Improve quality. Quantity isn't literally nothing. You , little one , have to learn to enjoy the little things.Because nothing is ever more important than enjoying a bit of time alone. Some quality time with the people that matter.

People. You need to learn lots about them. You need to learn to enjoy them without bounds. People, maybe you're still a kid. Or maybe you've grown up and forgot to enjoy them.To trust them. Let me tell you something little one :

People, they all are beautiful in their own way. But for you to see that , you have to understand. And understanding , understanding takes time. Do you have the time ?

I always dissaproved of the concept of not having enough time. You have just about as much time as you actually want to give. You shouldn't have time for excuses though.

Instead of excusing yourself , you should always be honest. Because ain't nobody got time to lose. Not you, nor me.

There are some basics principles I rely on. I think everybody has their own thing. Listen up , not entirely with the ears, but open your heart too. Yes , yes, you are untouchable and limitless. Remember a thing little one : the one you can always count on is yourself. Now , don't become too egocentric. Enjoy your time with others. Because , we all have something to share with others.

You know what I wish for you little one ? To find the ones willing to listen.

Up ; up

Those things you take for granted.

They're not yours to take.

Because nothing lasts forever. So , you can't actually take anything.

The only things , memories.

They'll be carved somehow , in your soul , forever.

And what is more precious then your soul ?

Enjoy the little things.

Transfer knowledge.

Learn , every day ; open up and hear the lesson.

Grow.

"Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end"

Furtuna de nisip.

A picat semnalul. Peste tot. Ai vrea sa suni dar nu poti. Defapt nu e nimeni la capatul celalalt al liniei. Si-atunci? Defapt , it's a single player game. Ok, ok. Si-atunci?  Ar trebui sa imi para bine sau...? Dar daca esti putin empatic ce faci? Daca esti putin empatic, dar te tratezi, intrerupi tu semnalul. Poate nu e bine sa ajunga nimeni la tine. Da, chiar cred asta. Tot ceea ce poti sa faci , e sa fii deschis. Dar inlaturi conexiuni. Poate nu face atat de mult sens acum. Dar defapt stii ca face. Bucura-te de lucrurile mici, acelea conteaza. Si sa nu uiti niciodata de tine, in primul rand.

Flowing

You reap what you sow.

How can a human being preach to another human being to let a bit go of themselves , and the same preacher advise another one , who is at the 'let go''level to relax ?

Aren't we a bit , hyprocrite ?

The thing is , I don't really take into consideration preaching. I just am. I do have moral values , even emotional values. But ,''at the moment , the number you're trying to reach is disconnected" , please try again later. Or just , stop trying. Cause it never works that way. It never works if you are overthinking it. If it doesen't feel right , and you don't feel comfortable in a certain situation which you've experienced before , stop. 

Don't put on hold things that are not useful for your personal being. Announce, and leave.

Sometimes, the things you do , they explain the way you are.

The way you was.

The way you've been hurt.

The way you're hurting.

...and , in the end , it's a sum of your soul. 

You find out what makes you , yourself.

21/04 (minus)

Cand credeai ca totul e pentru totdeauna, vine acea zi. Acea zi in care realizezi ca niciodata nu ar trebui sa spui niciodata...si niciodata sa nu spui pentru totdeauna. Suntem si noi efemeri, pana la urma urmei. Uita-te in oglinda. Esti cel de ieri? Cel de ieri, mai conteaza? Da, suntem oameni si constiinta nu ne permite sa eradicam totalmente conceptul de ieri sau mâine, ca deh, totul ar fi asa simplu. Dar daca e ? De ce sa nu ...fii? De ieri? De mâine. Da, am motivele mele sa scriu asta azi. Pentru că ieri. Dar promit, mie îmi promit în primul rând că ieri a fost frumos, dar e și mai frumos să fie totul în crescendo. Să simți fără să analizezi foarte mult. De la perfecționist la perfecționist, mi-e greu , nu să spun asta, ci să o fac. Pentru că noi, cei care ne punem mult prea multe semne de întrebare....suntem puțini mult prea umani. Nu e un lucru rău. Deloc. Doar că....daca ar fi azi sa fie ieri, îmi cer scuze pentru toate lucrurile pe care nu le-am făcut când am simțit." To live and let live". For all of us. 

As busy as you wish.

"And along with indifference to space, there was an even more 
complete indifference to time. "There seems to be plenty of it", was all I would answer when the investigator asked me to say what I felt about time. Plenty of it, but exactly how much was entirely irrelevant. I could, of course, have looked at my watch but my watch I knew was in another universe. My actual experience had been, was still, of an indefinite duration. Or alternatively, of a perpetual present made up of one continually changing apocalypse.” 
― A. Huxley, The Doors of Perception ; Heaven and Hell

  Why is time relative, people's perception about time is in a constant change,and this can be explained in a logical and rational matter.
  You need to abandon the idea that there is a universal time shared by everything. Time is simply what clocks measure. But clocks are physical objects that exist in the universe, not some eternal transcendent timekeeper that lives outside the universe. (And by 'clock' I mean anything clock-like such as a vibrating atom or an hour glass.)
  Speed is the ratio of space to time. If space and time are absolute, then the speed of light must be relative, depending upon the speed of the observer. The speed of light is absolute and does not depend upon the speed of the observer, therefore, either space or time must be relative. A more detailed algebraic calculation will show that both must be relative.
  I'm trying to make a point , being no physicist , people are always in a time awareness state. And mostly do not have time for certain things , well, lemme' tell ya a secret. You have the time you wish to spend to do a certain thing. You have all the time in the universe. If you really want to spend your time doing a thing , you certainly have the time. Don't drown yourself in illusions. Just be honest with yourself. Do you have the time to do that ?

Ashes to ashes.

What day is it ?

  Today is the day you'll let go of the past. It's not that you rather want to, but you need to. One should not ever focus on the past. Because it'll drag your mother fucking ass down. And there's nothing left about it. It's not like you could go left where nothing's right , or right , where nothing's left. 

  You focus so much on other's potential that you truly forget about yours. And it's your time to shine. The nice people , well , they are always somehow left behind. But that case has rested. How can you even focus on others when your soul is incomplete ?

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 I've been upside down, I don't wanna be the right way 'round , can't find paradise on the ground.All we do is play it safe.Live inside a cage. Break free human.

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 An old friend recently told me that I'm not currently myself. How do you even ? When your life is revolving around others, you can't really define yourself. You don't get to know your own boundaries.It's totally debatable , if you want your life to revolve or not around other people. But recently I've figured that even though we need the feeling of belonging somewhere....we're searching in the wrong places, most of the times.

  One shouldn't even try to replace the blank spaces.

  You don't just go for a refill.

  Grow. (not as in , grow up. that's a trap. just,learn to harvest your soul)

  Discover yourself. Your true self. Not what others want you to be.

  Then love.

  Because nothing can describe that feeling. It shouldn't be described. Love everything you do, love the people around you. Give your best. Don't fuss. Learn to accept that you can't control everything that is happening to you , and that it all eventually happens for a reason, for growth.

  

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  Once upon a time , she turned to ashes. And the phoenix arrived.

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