Open

Panic.
Love.
Fun.
Questions.
Weird.
I don't know.I feel the need to write.I want to sleep 'till friday.I want my problems to dissapear , just like that.I want to regain my health.It's killing me.
I want to make him happy.
I want us to go insane.I want you to hold me tight and never let me go.Ever.
Moonlight.
Lust.
Dissapointment.
Unwanted answers.
Closer.
Not today.I'm tired.I'd like to do so many things but I lack energy for'em.Soon enough.....everything will change.Fortunately.

Grbl.2011+2012

Today reminded me of June , last year.

The rehearsals.

Working but having fun.

Laughing but knowing when to be serious.

  Was nice.Back then we learned that when it comes to work , we must work.We had a pretty nice prize also , for working that hard.

  And you guys , you will have it this year also.

  I'm glad for you , in a way , I wish I could be there , but that's not my place anymore.

  Looking at it now , it's the second best thing that happened to me , and from a "collective" point of view , which involves me and you , you as the group with who I was more than half the summer , from this point of view , it still is the best.

  Remember me , with my random sayings , being foolish , laughing out loud , even being mean sometimes.

  There you met the real me.

  And the best thing is that I've learned to be myself from Grenoble.Right now I'm just the way I am , realised that I don't need people to like me for who I'm not.If somebody likes you as a person , he or she likes you for who you are , and doesen't try to change you.And I'm not talking about the romantic point of view.I'm talking about just being friends.

  I'm so glad I've been there , met so many lovely people.I hope someday we'll have the occasion to see eachother again , anywhere , and say " Hey , I remember you ! you were in the parking lot in the summer of 2011" And we will laugh.And have the feeling from over there , where , you didn't actually knew the person , but you felt like you knew him forever.And you would talk about anything.From the food you ate in the evening , to the meanings of life.

  Because that's what Grenoble is.

  It felt like home.

  One thing , say Hi to home for me , and know that even though I won't be there in person , a little part of my soul is there with you guys.

  Right now I found my peace , and I hope you will have all the fun in the world , and daaaaamn drink something for me ! Wine , eventually.Red.

  All your hard work will be paid off , and you will stand near beautiful people for 10 amazing days.Get closer to eachother.The friendships from there you will never forget , they won't ever be buried.And will light up your rainy days.

Oh , and now....

Now work your asses off and make them scream and shout while they applaud ! 

Time X

Peace of mind.

That's what we all need.

That's what I need.

A quiet place.

Where I can do whatever I want to.In peace.

Sometimes I want to relax.Sometimes I want to be loud.Sometimes I don't know what I want.But I know for sure who I want.

If I lay here , if I just lay here , would you lay with me and just forget the world ? 

Late night hour.

So many things to do and time is passing by so fast.

Loads to learn.

But in the end everything will be okay.Cause if not , it's definetly not the end.

Late hour again and can't sleep.

Nor do I have the mood to read.

So I'll write.

Writing sometimes makes it easier for me to release myself.My feelings.

If I can't say something , I write it.

I now wonder what'll happen a year from now.

Sometimes I'd like to know what's up next.

But then I guess...it wouldn't have the same effect when it'll happen.

I wonder if my dreams will come true.

If my aims will become reality.

When reality hits you , and it's harsh , you fall so fast , you wonder how did I get here?

...and this is the moment when I thank the I don't know what's bigger than us that somebody's got my back.And right now you're all I need.

It's funny.Usually I was the one to offer support.And help.And whatnot.

Apparently me myself I need it also.

People need people.

A heart needs another heart to help it beat normal when it gets under the rythm.

Do you ever wonder who's gonna save your soul ? 

It just...happened.

Sincerely from the heart.

You know , when you think there is no hope left...it knocks at your door saying 'I'm right here'

You don't have to regret anything from the past.Everything happens for a reason.We learn something from the things we've been through.

I've learned that some people are not worth your attention.

Some you should pay more attention to.

Most of them are afraid.

People...people are afraid to show their true selves.And they put a mask on , so nobody would hurt them.You know...it gets more painful when you start to lie to yourself.

I've learned that most of the best things come unexpected.

I've learned that words do not matter.The facts do.

I've learned to smile sincerely again.To laugh again.

And one thing I've never known before....

To love.

Peaceful

And now I feel safe.
Cause there are ups
And downs.
But now we're so on.
And I trust you.
And I feel like ....
I don't even know how to describe it.
I just feel like our forever started.
After all the things we had behind , it started ,  and I feel like we're the lucky ones , this time.
I feel so ... me , when I'm with you.
And I hope you feel the same.
You know , the feeling when you hold my hand...
Right now , you're the best thing I have.The only thing that isn't messed up in a wrong way.The place where I feel safe.In your arms.
Being crazy.
Being real.
Being us.