X,Y

E vremea cand nimic e totul si totul e nimic.

Fum

Pentru totdeauna pare o perioada lunga de timp.

Scrum.

Cand faci tot ce poti si nu e de ajuns

Sau poate sunt doar un om nebun.

______________________

______________________

Te-ai intrebat vreodata ce s-a intamplat de s-a ajuns aici ? Aici unde esti tu , aici unde sunt eu.Situatii,gen.Si frate,nu gasesti raspunsurile niciodata.Oare , oare intrebarea nu e bine pusa?

Uneori anumite intrebari....sunt...defapt...

Raspunsuri.

Cheia e defapt comunicarea.Oriunde.Oricand.Oricine.Daca esti inchis...te omoara.Te omori.Lupta cu tine insuti e cea mai grea.

E foarte confuz.Poti castiga , si poti pierde doar tu.

Cat zgomot inauntru si e defapt atat de liniste.

Acel zambet misterior al unei persoane , cred eu , e defapt strigatul lui de ajutor.Uneori zambesti pentru ca vrei sa evadezi.Pentru o secunda totul ti se pare frumos , dar stai linistit.Nu te panica.Defapt totul e mai rau decat pare a fii.

Sau poate sunt doar pesimista.

Uneori optimista.

De cele mai multe ori realista.Apropo de realitate.Recent am 'descoperit' , ca trebuie sa ne gasim un echilibru.Pentru mine , echilibru inseamna ...inseamna...*content currently unavailable for strangers*

Ce amuzant.Defapt eu va scriu aici voua.Nu stiu de ce fac asta.Poate asa mi-e mai usor.Majoritatea de aici nu ma cunoasteti.Si vin eu cu gandurile mele si....

Cand scriu parca ma echilibrez putin.

Chin,destin,sublim.

Mai devreme sau mai tarziu , o sa-mi revin.

_________________________________

_________________________________

eu, tu, domnul K. şi ceilalti calatori perfizi
respiram usurati ne prefacem ca ascultam 
muzica de jazz
in interiorul samburelui de caisa e foarte intuneric
si nici locuri nu se mai gasesc la ora asta

Lupte-n mijlocul noptii.

Ce se-ntampla cu oamenii ?
Si cand inceteaza sa le mai pese ?

Asa...dintr-o data , paremi-se foarte trist.
Nu ar trebui sa incetam a lupta niciodata.
Pentru ca , in fond , e vorba de noi insine.Daca nu luptam pentru noi , 'noi' sub o forma putin mai -putin- egoista.

Personal , motivul care ma tine 'apta' de lupta sunt persoanele pentru care lupt.
Poate par/sunt naiva.

N-am fost niciodata o persoana egoista.
Oamenii care nu ma cunosc probabil ma considera incapatanata ca un catar , da , pot fii si asa.Dar fata de oamenii care-mi pasa , care inseamna ceva pentru mine...prefer sa las de la mine.

Nu te-ai fii gandit , nu-i asa ?

Si toti , toti aveti cel putin o persoana pentru care ati lasa de la voi cat incape.
Ca sa-i fie lui/ei bine.
Da , da , oricine poate nega.In adancul sufletului vostru stiti ca acolo e cineva.Cat de ascuns , cat de bine adapostit , toti ati face orice sacrificiu pentru o persoana.
Unii se intreaba daca are vreun rost sa lupti pentru cineva.
Ei bine , da , adica....stii ? Asa te simti cu adevarat implinit(a).

Fie ca e vorba de o lupta cu noi insine , de o lupta cu societatea , ai castiga-o sa poti face pe cineva fericit , nu ?
Sa castigi o lupta cu tine...defapt , asta-i cel mai greu.
Razboaiele din interior sunt cele mai grele.In lupta cu noi insine armamentul nu este inca prea bine pus la punct.

Dar da...si in aceste razboaie unii flutura steagul alb.
Asta nu ar trebui sa se intample.Vreodata.

Ce chestie...acum mi-am dat seama ca atunci , atunci cand lupti doar pentru tine , risti sa devii prizonierul tuturor.
Si da , uneori , uneori se-ntampla sa pierzi.Dar sigur vei pierde daca nu incepi sa lupti.Si in fond , unele infrangeri te ridica , spre surprinderea multora.

Lupta !

6 [& more]

21.10.2012
Time flies.
Half a year passed , and it gets more beautiful day by day.
I'm finding my inner peace with him.
I would've never thought of it like this.But you see , the most amazing things happen when you least expect it.And it was exactly just like that.It may be pre-mature to say that I found my better half , it takes some courage for me to admit this , but well....I actually feel I have found it.

18.11.2012
Way better.
Stepping stone.
Blackouts.
Fighter.
Waves.
Ups.[keep count]
Downs.[passed]
7 [soon]
Wanting to do more.
Hopefully will do.
Freaky.[-I am-]
Will still count.Heartbeats.
Promised thing. [i6y]
Will be there [reverof]
                                                                                                        Distance[who cares?]
                                                                                                         Will stay strong.

Guys...whatever you do.Keep fighting for what you want.

Efemeri

Timpul.

Zboara , nu-i asa ?

Incep sa realizez ca sunt clasa a XII-a , dar , unde s-au dus anii ? 

Liceul mi-l imaginam altfel.

Poate o clasa mai unita.

Poate mai multa distractie.

Poate mai mult...invatat?

Desi...am invatat.Am invatat multe in cursul liceului.Dar nu tine neaparat de scoala.Da...am invatat multe.Si s-au schimbat multe.Si m-am maturizat mult.Poate prea mult.

Mi-e dor sa n-am niciun gand.Romaneste vorbind , sa ma doara-n paispe'.As fi vrut sa evit ciocnirea asta cu viata atat de devreme.

Cand te loveste te scutura si te trezesti bine bine de tot.

Si plus , mai sunt altele.Dar n-am sa incep sa le enumar pe toate aici.Poate nu e momentul potrivit , si nici locul potrivit.

Singura mea evadare....o alta lume ,o lume mai frumoasa e...ei bine...

Si cu totii stiti povestea despre iubire , sau daca nu o stiti , macar ati auzit-o.

Putin sus , mai mult jos , la un moment dat o sa se echilibreze balanta si o sa fie o constanta frumoasa.O sa dau tot ce-i mai bun sa se intample chestia asta.

Tot timpul am vrut mai mult.Acum vreau mai mult de la mine.Partea cea mai buna-i ca am inceput deja sa lucrez la asta.

O chestie am observat....precum trece timpul , ramai mai singur.

Adica , majoritatea oamenilor pleaca , si mai raman doar cei mai importanti.

Credeam ca imi place sa fiu inconjurata de oameni.

Acum imi sunt suficienti strict cei importati.

Desigur , asta nu ma impiedica sa vreau sa cunosc mai multi oameni.

Chiar imi place asta.Imi place sa analizez.Sa vad, sa stiu , sa invat.Si pot sa recunosc ca m-am conturat foarte mult eu insami prin a analiza.

Sunt aproape unde as fi vrut sa fiu , in conditii normale.

O sa fie si mai bine.

Da , cu siguranta o sa fie.

Si voi incheia cu , decembrie se apropie.

Decembrie o sa fie o luna grea.Pentru mine , cel putin.

Din punct de vedere emotional.

Bun-drept

"Ai prefera sa fii buna , sau dreapta?" m-a intrebat cineva.

Am ezitat putin.Bun-drept,bun-drept...

Si daca poti fii si bun si drept?

Mda...nu...in societatea zilelor noastre e cam greu, mai ales in Romanica.

Uneori daca esti bun , esti luat de fraier.Si cine vrea sa fie luat de fraier?

Dar defapt nu asta e problema mea fundamentala.Intrebarea asta mi-a raspuns la alte intrebari.Si am realizat ca vreau la drept.Criminalistica , mai exact.De ce ?

E ca un puzzle.Dosar.Probe.Interviuri.Chestii.

E putin sinistru ce zic , stiu.

Poate sunt eu putin sinistra.

Adevaru-i ca imi place cand lucrurile se intampla cum ar trebui sa se intample.

Probabil de aia vreau sa plec cat mai repede cu putinta din tara asta.

Sunt sigura ca as prefera sa fiu dreapta.

Time to think.

Who am I ? 

And who are you.

Tricky questions.Have you ever thought about it ? If somebody ask you , who are you , what would you answer ?

I remember , at my first rehearsal at theatre , the director asked me who am I.

Back then , I answered , I don't know , I'm trying to figure it out.

I guess it was the wisest answer I could've given.

'Thing is , if somebody would ask me now , who am I , I would probably answer the same , because I really didn't find out yet , neither am I gonna find out too soon.What I fould out is that I want to be remembered.

I want to be someone who changed something significant.

I may be an awkward person , but I won't try to hide it , it's just , me.And I'm not gonna try to put the 'I adore you' mask if I don't feel that way.

Don't get me wrong , I like masks.

But not society-kind-of masks.Most of the time , I'm honest.Maybe too honest.Some people told me that I might have to lose some things with my cruel honesty , but well , I actually don't care about people who don't accept my character. I've learned it. It's not all rainbows and princesses here. 

A change ? Everyone wants to be a change. THE change. But who actually fights for it ? 

I don't know about you , but one thing I've discovered about myself , I'm a fighter.

Is it possible?

[As my train rolls down the east coast , I wonder how you keep warm.]

I wonder what's it gonna be.

Disturbed.

Afraid.

Moody.

Have you ever went through something like , tears not stopping to fall from your eyes? And you didn't knew the exact reason for it.

It feels so safe but still so unsafe.

What....happened?

What's wrong.

That odd feeling that you might loose it.

And panic.

If something has happened that makes me feel this way , and it involves straight and personally me , it will never get to you.It will go down just like an avalanche through mystic mountains.

The best thing ever can be the worst thing that ever happend to you.

[3]

What would happen ?

Crash.

How do you get rid of something you would want?

Because it's just not right.

[Not now]

Swings.

Far though close pains more than far away.

What happened?

Rascruce.

La un moment dat , drumurile se despart.

Si fiecare o ia pe drumul lui.

Frig.

Mai devreme sau mai tarziu , se raceste.

Pacat ca nu stim sa ne 'impartim'.

Foarte rar am vazut oameni care isi pot organiza atentia.

E frumos sa nu trebuiasca sa o faci.

Uneori nu ai de ales.

Nu poate fii doar bine sau doar rau.

E....putin din fiecare.

Dar orice ar fii , e experienta.

E o lectie de la noi pentru -noi-

Greseli ? nu , fiecare-s micute capitole in dezvoltarea noastra.

Vorbeam ieri cu o prietena , ce usor e sa uiti sa iubesti , pentru ca intervin altii , sau alte obstacole.Nu trebuie sa fie asa.

Personal, (uite c-o fac si pe asta,in mod direct), eu sunt fericita cand vad oamenii la care tin fericiti.Altceva nu mai conteaza.Prima oara , sa fie ei bine.dupa aceea , noi , si mai pe urma eu.

Poate inca traiesc pe norisoru meu' , ca am gandirea asta.

Defapt , poate-i cel mai bine asa.

Inca e prea devreme sa fie prea tarziu.

Sus,jos

Cum poti sa fii si sus si jos in acelasi timp ?
Sus e frumos.E soare.
Jos , doare.
Uiti de sus si te afunzi.
Ganduri.Griji.Probleme.
Si parca....parca dintr-o data , cacat , toate devin grele.
De ce atunci cand esti cufundat in probleme uiti de partile bune,raman cele rele ?
Urca.Catara-te.Uita.
Ieri , azi , si poate maine

+/-

Stuck in her daydream.
Been this way since 17.
But they scream,the worst things in life come free to us.
And in a pipe she flies to her motherland...
................................................................
Scream.
Shout.
Laugh.
Cry.
Tease.
Please.
Summer days,they have all these things.Right now I'm at peace.
Now and then.
Ofcourse, we all have our own personal worries.
And thoughts.
I guess sometimes I'm afraid of loosing it.
Everything.
That awkward feeling when everything seems like crazy.
It messes your mind as fuck.
I guess what we have to do is live the life we have and enjoy what we have.
Now.
Tick-tock.The clock ticks and it doesen't come back
Now or ever.
Live now.
Don't look back and just step forward.
Sky is the limit.
If you get there or not...That's your own choice.You choose how to live.Free or shackled in thoughts.
I need to let myself go.Free myself.My mind.
My soul.
It's funny .... the thing that made this fear viral in my heart...to see how everything can collapse before your own eyes in no time.Like....how soon is now?
Time's a bitch.
It decides.
The only way is letting go.
Enjoy.

Las-o sa fie.

Personalitate ?
Unde ?
Pana cand ?
Vreau.
Pot.
Sunt.
Am.
Voi fii.
De ce ?
Cand ?
Noi ?
Cuvinte
Minciuni.
Promisiuni.
Lipsa.
Atitudine.
Da , defapt , totul se invarte in jurul atitudinii noastre vizavi de lucruri.
Dupa parerea mea.
Cum iti asterni , asa dormi.
Uitam sa ne respectam.Pe noi insine.
Cum se ajunge aici ?
Pai , iei o cazatura si o faci o drama existentiala , si pe langa asta , ne complacem in situatie.
Ganduri->Vorbe->Actiuni
Toate , cu cap.
Asa ar fii bine.
Bineinteles , mai si gresim , ca , suntem oameni.
Asta ne face oameni , nu ?
Venim , plecam.Poate ajungem iarasi tot acolo.
Poate mai sus.
Poate mai jos.
Poate defapt e cum vrem noi si cum stim sa luptam pentru ceea ce vrem.
Poate....
Poate.
Frate , gata.
Trebuie sa incepi de undeva , este ?
-----------------------------------
.

De ce ?

De ce.....

De ce trebuie ca oamenii sa bage bete-n roate ?

De ce judecam fara a cunoaste ? 

Ce-ar fii daca , macar pentru o zi , sa-i lasam pe altii sa fie fericiti si sa nu aruncam cu tot felul de motive tampite , doar asa , sa ne....sa ne hranim orgoliul ?

Ca noi nu putem fii fericiti ?

Si daca ii facem pe cei din jurul nostru sa se simta mizerabil , oare....ne ridica pe noi mai sus ?

Prostii.

Defapt...defapt asta dovedeste ca suntem niste oameni tristi.

Fara niciun scop.

Alimentam cu energie negativa si speram sa primim energie pozitiva.

Niciodata.

Hai' sa ne vedem cu totii de viata noastra.

A noastra personal.

Suntem doar noi doi si restul lumii.

Asa de frumos suna.

Goleste fundalul.

Sunt atatea de multe si totusi nimic ce sa conteze asa de mult in afara de noi.

Macar o zi.

O singura zi.

Da, am nevoie de ziua aceea.

Rainy

I need to change my ways instead of always being weak.
The mirror can lie.
Doesen't show you what's inside.
And it can tell you you're full of life.
It's amazing what you can hide , just by putting on a smile.
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful , today.And know that I'm okay.
I guess I always knew , that I had all the strenght to make it through.
The worst part is there is no-one else to blame.
And her brother sais you're jokin'
And her mother heart is broken.
How did things get this bad?
Sophie sais she's really trying.
The problem is , Sophie's lying.
Just to fit in like an ordinary girl.
What does it take to say....
She's dying.
Living in ordinary world , just to fit in , and be like all the other girls.

Waves

--------

Not again.

[Paranoia]

History repeats itself ? Come closer and tell me more.

Or just...don't.

[Tired]

Been a while.

[Sick]

Won't last again.

[Stop]

End it before it's too late.

[Start]

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.
[Now]

--------

Countdown finals

Emotions and trust.

It's all it takes.

Can't believe it's happening , and time passed kinda' quick.

I can't wait to see you honey.

When you're missing a person and it's 'soon' when you'll see each other , you are so excited , and have butterflies in your stomach and it's...wow ! it's happening.

But that's just my state of mind , right now.

What I wanted to talk about was actually distance.

Distance doesen't separate two hearts that really care , indeed , even if it sounds absurd , it gets them closer to eachother.Not pyshically , but , by heart.

It makes them appreciate every moment they have with the person they love, 'cause , you know...time passes.And distance comes again.But that won't make any difference.

When they meet again , they meet on cloud 9.

So whoever sais a long-distance relationship is a living hell , well , I do not say it's easy ,  but if you found the right person , it's definetly worth the wait.

What's the point in being with someone and stay blank all the time ?

It's about enjoying every moment with the person near you.

It's about teaching how to love and learning to be loved.

Big word...love.

I finally learned to pronounce it.

---

Learn to appreciate every single moment you have with the person you love.

Teamă 1.0

Frica ?

Frica de ce ?

------------

A disparut.

Ce rost are frica ? Stii , daca e sa se intample ceva , oricum se va intampla , indiferent daca iti este teama sau nu.

Se spune ca de ceea ce ne e frica nu scapam.

De ce sa iti fie frica ?

Suisuri si coborasuri , e normal.Asa e anotimpul asta.

Anotimpul pe care il numim viata.

Frica e chinuitoare.Te omori pe tine.Incet si sigur.Asa ca , pentru ce ? 

De ce sa iti fie teama de inaltimi ? 

Ca cineva nu te place ? 

De paianjeni ?

De reactii ?

De adevar ?

Fa ceva , acum.Alunga-ti temerile.Din punctul de vedere al oamenilor....unii oameni se hranesc cu temerile altora.Fii fericit , si fa ce trebuie sa faci aici.

Trebuie sa fii cineva.

Daca nu risti , nu castigi.

Waiting.

Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love.
It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..
I miss you , and I remind myself every day that distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there.
But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.
Sometimes I worry.I don't know if I have a motive , but one thing I'm sure of , whatever happens , you'll always be locked in my heart.And as we said...even after years.
Sparks would fly.
Damn they'll fly.

You know , dear reader , that awesome and awkward feeling when you feel like you belong somewhere ?

You may not find it as soon as you desire , but when you'll find it...

You'll feel like you don't need anything else.

That's how I feel right now.

Summer paradise?

Hold on to that thought.

Countdown : 17 remaining.

So close ! 

Swings.

Sometimes you miss only one person but it feels like the whole world is empty...

[Blank]

[Blank]

[Blank]

I miss your smile.

The scent of your skin.

Our hands together.

The madness inbetween the sheets.

Kissing in the rain.

Long walks.

Crazy nights.

Waking up next to you.

[Blank]

[Blank]

[Blank]

25.

Every day is one day closer.

It's still the same , though, nothing changed.

Nothing will change.

Whatever it happens , I'm sure that even after years there will still be us.

Maybe different circumstances.

But still us.

And nothing else matters.

[Blank]

[Blank]

[Blank]

'Cause everybody has more or less emotional days.

Yes.

Today.

Open

Panic.
Love.
Fun.
Questions.
Weird.
I don't know.I feel the need to write.I want to sleep 'till friday.I want my problems to dissapear , just like that.I want to regain my health.It's killing me.
I want to make him happy.
I want us to go insane.I want you to hold me tight and never let me go.Ever.
Moonlight.
Lust.
Dissapointment.
Unwanted answers.
Closer.
Not today.I'm tired.I'd like to do so many things but I lack energy for'em.Soon enough.....everything will change.Fortunately.

Grbl.2011+2012

Today reminded me of June , last year.

The rehearsals.

Working but having fun.

Laughing but knowing when to be serious.

  Was nice.Back then we learned that when it comes to work , we must work.We had a pretty nice prize also , for working that hard.

  And you guys , you will have it this year also.

  I'm glad for you , in a way , I wish I could be there , but that's not my place anymore.

  Looking at it now , it's the second best thing that happened to me , and from a "collective" point of view , which involves me and you , you as the group with who I was more than half the summer , from this point of view , it still is the best.

  Remember me , with my random sayings , being foolish , laughing out loud , even being mean sometimes.

  There you met the real me.

  And the best thing is that I've learned to be myself from Grenoble.Right now I'm just the way I am , realised that I don't need people to like me for who I'm not.If somebody likes you as a person , he or she likes you for who you are , and doesen't try to change you.And I'm not talking about the romantic point of view.I'm talking about just being friends.

  I'm so glad I've been there , met so many lovely people.I hope someday we'll have the occasion to see eachother again , anywhere , and say " Hey , I remember you ! you were in the parking lot in the summer of 2011" And we will laugh.And have the feeling from over there , where , you didn't actually knew the person , but you felt like you knew him forever.And you would talk about anything.From the food you ate in the evening , to the meanings of life.

  Because that's what Grenoble is.

  It felt like home.

  One thing , say Hi to home for me , and know that even though I won't be there in person , a little part of my soul is there with you guys.

  Right now I found my peace , and I hope you will have all the fun in the world , and daaaaamn drink something for me ! Wine , eventually.Red.

  All your hard work will be paid off , and you will stand near beautiful people for 10 amazing days.Get closer to eachother.The friendships from there you will never forget , they won't ever be buried.And will light up your rainy days.

Oh , and now....

Now work your asses off and make them scream and shout while they applaud ! 

Time X

Peace of mind.

That's what we all need.

That's what I need.

A quiet place.

Where I can do whatever I want to.In peace.

Sometimes I want to relax.Sometimes I want to be loud.Sometimes I don't know what I want.But I know for sure who I want.

If I lay here , if I just lay here , would you lay with me and just forget the world ? 

Late night hour.

So many things to do and time is passing by so fast.

Loads to learn.

But in the end everything will be okay.Cause if not , it's definetly not the end.

Late hour again and can't sleep.

Nor do I have the mood to read.

So I'll write.

Writing sometimes makes it easier for me to release myself.My feelings.

If I can't say something , I write it.

I now wonder what'll happen a year from now.

Sometimes I'd like to know what's up next.

But then I guess...it wouldn't have the same effect when it'll happen.

I wonder if my dreams will come true.

If my aims will become reality.

When reality hits you , and it's harsh , you fall so fast , you wonder how did I get here?

...and this is the moment when I thank the I don't know what's bigger than us that somebody's got my back.And right now you're all I need.

It's funny.Usually I was the one to offer support.And help.And whatnot.

Apparently me myself I need it also.

People need people.

A heart needs another heart to help it beat normal when it gets under the rythm.

Do you ever wonder who's gonna save your soul ? 

It just...happened.

Sincerely from the heart.

You know , when you think there is no hope left...it knocks at your door saying 'I'm right here'

You don't have to regret anything from the past.Everything happens for a reason.We learn something from the things we've been through.

I've learned that some people are not worth your attention.

Some you should pay more attention to.

Most of them are afraid.

People...people are afraid to show their true selves.And they put a mask on , so nobody would hurt them.You know...it gets more painful when you start to lie to yourself.

I've learned that most of the best things come unexpected.

I've learned that words do not matter.The facts do.

I've learned to smile sincerely again.To laugh again.

And one thing I've never known before....

To love.

Peaceful

And now I feel safe.
Cause there are ups
And downs.
But now we're so on.
And I trust you.
And I feel like ....
I don't even know how to describe it.
I just feel like our forever started.
After all the things we had behind , it started ,  and I feel like we're the lucky ones , this time.
I feel so ... me , when I'm with you.
And I hope you feel the same.
You know , the feeling when you hold my hand...
Right now , you're the best thing I have.The only thing that isn't messed up in a wrong way.The place where I feel safe.In your arms.
Being crazy.
Being real.
Being us.

Astenie

Si uneori simti ca nu mai poti.

Esti la capatul puterilor.

Nu mai poti vedea de aici incolo.

Si acum.....acum , ce se intampla?

Incotro ?

Azi , azi nu.Dar poate maine....

Maine ....

...............poate maine o sa fie soare.

Pentru ca ploua de ceva timp.Si simt ca am sa ma innec.

Orbi

                                                              Frumos.

Toata lumea cauta ceva frumos.

Dar nimeni nu-si da pe bune interesul.

Si suntem egoisti.

Ne gandim numai la noi.

Intr-o zi.....

Intr-o zi o sa ne dam seama ca lumea nu se invarte in jurul nostru , ca individ.

Niciodata...niciodata nu realizam ce avem.

Pentru ca asa suntem noi.

Poate intr-o zi o sa realizam ca totusi , nu suntem singuri aici.

Si poate....poate cineva e acolo pentru noi.

Vrea sa fie acolo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvGYYg40Ijw

Let it be wrong.

Pain is inevitable.

Suffering is optional.

That's what they say.

Weird thoughts in my head.

And weird feelings.

I hope I'm wrong.

Cause if I'm not , I was right a few years ago , about feelings.

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.

Sometimes I wonder if it actually exists.Or is it just an illusion.

I think I'm tired.

And sick.

Sick of all the fake things around.

Sick of people using people.

Sick of waiting for I don't know what.

Pure feelings ? 

Please....

Yes , definetly tired.

But now , it's the point of no return.

We can't turn back time.

I wish I could.

I wish I wouldn't have done some things.

But mistakes....

That's how we learn.

Prove me that I'm wrong.I beg you.

Azi , mâine

People come , people go , let them in , let them go.

Şi totuşi uneori îţi lipsesc.

De ce ?

Oamenii.....

..oamenii sunt alături de tine pentru o perioadă.

După aceea , li se iveşte alt drum.

Şi .... uită de tine.

Dar , oare chiar uită ?

Uneori aş vrea să fie pe aproape , doar să ştiu că sunt bine.Atât , nimic mai mult.

Să stăm la o cafea , o ţigară , ceva , să-mi spună cum sunt, ce au mai făcut.

Dar dacă dorul ăsta nu e împărtăşit , poate ... poate nu are niciun rost să îmi fie dor.

Nu , nu are niciun rost.

Aşa e cel mai bine.

Pentru toţi.Pentru noi.

Between you and I.

You know....

Sometimes you feel like you're not good enough.

Not worth anything.

Between you and I.

I don't know why , some memories popped up in my head.

When I think about them , it makes me sad.

Haven't you realized that at that certain moment you were everything I ever wanted?

But it doesen't matter anymore.

It's sad to be stuck in the past , because you can't embrace the present.

You've dissapointed.

You're sad.

You're searching for healing.

Desperate to get over it.

I'll tell you a secret.

Appreciate what you have now.

Because when it's gone , it will be for good.

Sometimes because it was too much.

And he or she....maybe they're tired.

Tired of dissapointments.

Tired of waiting.

Waiting for what ?

Promises are not good enough.

Words are not good enough.

You have to prove your point.

Cause if you just say it...

It's zero.

Pointless.

Stupid.

Embrace now.

Now is the moment.

Don't look back.

I don't know why I wrote this , or maybe I know , but some things should remain unexplained.It's a lesson I've learned.It might hurt to lose people,but maybe they just weren't supposed to stay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H88EVgyUcs

.......and a song that reminded me of ...something.

Calm

E aşa de linişte...

O linişte de aceea frumoasă...

Mă simt calmă , demult nu am mai fost aşa.

Poate...poate am găsit ceea ce am nevoie.

E atât de frumos să poţi să te bucuri de lucrurile mărunte.

Oamenii nu sunt atenţi la detalii.

Da, îţi poţi face o părere per ansamblu , dar cele mai frumoase sunt detaliile.

Să fii atent la ceea ce contează , la cine contează.

Şi sufletul? Un abur care trăieşte şi el şi se tot plimbă.

Căutăm tot timpul ceva, aşteptăm ceva.

Aşteptarea....îşi are si ea rostul ei.

Nu tot timpul lucrurile bune se întâmplă când le vrei.Acum.Nu , din contră.Lucrurile cele mai frumoase se întâmplă atunci când te aştepţi cel mai puţin.Da....aşa e.

Oamenii au aşteptări.

E greşit.

Dacă porneşti cu aşteptări.... să nu te miri că ai să fii curând dezamăgit.Nu trebuie să aşteptăm nimic de la nimeni.Cuvinte,fapte,nimic.

Dacă persoana respectivă simte că trebuie să facă un lucru , îl va face.

Pentru că asta ne deosebeşte pe noi de animale.

Noi simţim.

Feel

I found this post offensive to my actual feelings.No point in lying to myself

Dor

Uneori mi-e dor.
De zilele cu soare.
De o zi frumoasă cu familia.
De o plimbare in parc.
De un curcubeu.
Învaţă-mă să iubesc.
Pentru că uneori ne trezim la realitate.Şi nu e totul aşa frumos precum pare.Şi am nevoie să fii aici.
Şi da...mi-e dor de un zâmbet sincer.
Şi de tăcere...uneori.
Tăcerea...ştiti ? e şi e frumoasă....să poţi să taci alături de un om , şi cu toate astea să vă simţiti.Să vorbiţi...fără cuvinte.De câte ori vi s-a întâmplat asta ?
.............................................................
Am să fiu acolo.

Primăvară.Oameni.

Spring incoming.

E frumos afară , e frumos şi înăuntru.

Nu , nu acasa.

Parcă odată cu primăvara , începe să învie tot , am o altă stare de spirit.

E mai bună , mult mai bună , după 4 luni de feeling down , a ajuns soarele şi aici.

Poate datorită oamenilor.

Oamenii sunt frumoşi.Toţi.

Si nimeni nu e perfect.

Tocmai asta îi face frumoşi.Fiecare , în felul lui.

Nu ştiu dacă sunt singura care are chestia asta, dar găsesc măcar câteva lucruri frumoase şi la persoanele care nu îmi sunt tocmai pe plac.Sau cei care mă rănesc.Voluntar sau involuntar.

Am realizat că uneori , avem nevoie şi de oameni care ne rănesc.Altfel , cum am învăţa ?Da...ar putea zice cineva , din greşelile altora.Serios ? Uneori , oamenii nu învaţă nici din propriile greşeli...dar hey!

E primăvară.Încă un an , încă o primăvară.

Sper că va fi mai bună decât lunile trecute.

PS: Anyone who was once in my life , they made a mark there.And even though you think that now we are strangers , I'll still smile and say hello.If we ever meet again.

...(2)

It's a bright day today.

I choose it to be it this way.

At the moment , I just want peace of mind , rest , and happiness.

I miss childhood.

When we had no worries , no drama , and everything was so simple.Little things are beautiful.But now , we can't appreciate them.Life is so simple , the thing is , we complicate our lifes too much.

This life is what you make it.

 No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. 

But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. 

Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. 

As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything.

 Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? 

So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

...

                                                                     Coffee.

I don't know how people live without coffee, I really don't.

Waking up in the morning , feeling the smell of coffee in the kitchen , that's the best damn thing.

Coffee and cigarettes, that's one of my weaknesses.

               A year ago , I used to drink my coffee without a cigarette.But then , my mom asked me *she's a smoker*   how in the world can I drink my coffee without a cigarette.At first I was like : "Mom , seriously ? Are you actually telling me this?" ,but then I lit up a cigarette , and the magic started.At first I was like , mhm , not sure if she was right or she was trolling me.But right now , I couldn't imagine a morning without coffee and cigarettes.

It's the thing for what I wake up in the morning.

Makes my day brighter.   

One of those days.

V-aţi simţit vreodată singuri ?

Singuri intr-o încăpere plină , sau singuri cu toate că eraţi încojuraţi de prieteni ?

Rareori mi se întâmplă , sau cel puţin asta vreau eu să cred.

Aş vrea să pot în sfârşit să ofer.

Să ofer tot ce am , cuiva.

Dar ce faci când nu ai cui ?

Astăzi m-am simţit singură.

Şi ieri.

Aş vrea să fac măcar un om fericit.

E oare , prea mult ceea ce cer ?